Martha, Martha

So this morning in the bathroom, I idly leafed thru the November 2009 Martha Stewart Living. I enjoy the mag, I love the pictures, but sometimes, Martha is just too much. The first thing that struck me was realizing how tightly she controls her own image - there was a picture of the 68-year-old Martha, looking about 30, with her milk mustache, in a "Got Milk?" ad - and I realized she must be wearing some type of Spanx, to make her form in white blouse and black trousers echo the curvy wasp-waisted shape of her milk glass. And the milk ad was adjacent to an article about Martha's picks in natural cosmetics. Next I came across the little blurb they include, on who's recently been on TV with Ms. Stewart and the featured guest was Snoop Dogg, learning to make mashed potatoes. At least he looked like his 38 years. Finally, I got to a big spread on family farms in Vermont, and the picture of the farmer-couple relaxing seated on a hay bale in their own barn, wearing shorts & sandals - bare thighs up against that hay - was bad enough but then there was the full page of photos of cheesemakers over their vats without hairnets or hats. I could just imagine Martha's photographers - following Martha's instructions - telling them to take the nets off, because they just didn't look cute enough. Hope they didn't have to throw the whole batch away - but maybe they just did a mock-up for Martha.